To Anton

I'm writing this on my blog because I have a lot of things to say about this subject. I've been thinking about it for a long time because I've seen the debates and even though I haven't seen the videos you liked me to yet, I think I know what you mean.

Most of the times LGBT people recognize that there are other ways of manifesting yourself, your love and your identity other than the strict gender roles enforced by the society. Non-LGBT people hate LGBT people because they fear that in a world of total freedom, they will be the ones oppressed and their ways of expression will be frowned upon. And I've seen LGBT people doing that. The problem is that everybody fails to understand that nobody should enforce anything on anybody.

The rainbow metaphor is an excellent one. Non-LGBT people are black and white, men and women who are not bothered by the norms of society because they naturally fit in the stereotypes. LGBT are not black and white. They are different colors and different shades and they can't be categorized in two simple and understandable terms because everyone is different. LGBT people complain about the pressure to fit in and choose between black and white or settle for a neutral grey.

It's true that not all people fit the binary, but it's also true that a lot of people fit comfortably in the binary and when some of us say ''fuck the binary'' ''die cis scum'' ''abolish all genders and gender norms'' we are being just as intolerant. 

I'm black. I was born white on the inside but my core is black as tar and one day I hope I'll be an indistinguishable black inside and out. I'm a man. I fit the binary. My brain, my personality are ordinary. I have one little medical problem. But I'm stereotypically male. I like sports, I like beer, I like bacon, I like fights, I like danger, I'm monolithic, I'm protective, I'm angry, I'm uncomfortable showing my feelings, I'm rugged. I have always been a man. I've always dreamed of having a beard. I've always known what kind of male clothes I liked and I could never imagine myself in female clothes. I didn't even know the cause of my frustration, the name of my problem but I've always been dysphoric when I had to act like something other than a guy.
That is what being a trans man means to me. I'm defined by ''he, him, his''.

But there are people that are not like me. Queer people, genderqueer people, non-binary people, trans-something people. Maybe we are all trans in some respects, because nobody fits perfectly in one definition. But these people that we bash are more trans-something than others.

People with breasts and vaginas and skirts and make-up that don't feel completely at ease with the terms ''lady''. That feel different. I don't understand them. I don't try to because I know I can't. I cannot feel what they feel. Everybody's brain chemistry is different and I'll never get a taste of their cocktail.

Maybe society is not ready to understand and accept them. People are overfed with information, overstimulated by lights and sounds, tired by useless and annoying things and they couldn't care less about ''zir'' and ''hir''. Their identities are too complicated to understand and too peculiar to be taken seriously.

This is what I think about ''wannabe trans''. While they are not what I would describe as trans-men their are definitely trans-something. They are trans-themselves, transitioning from a stereotype to a complex, fluid, human being. And maybe their problem is that they are trying to explain the complexity of their being to people who've barely met them and who are not interested in their experience.